Even when I was a kid there was one phrase that I hated hearing, “I’m too old for ______.”
In going back to the gym and the yoga studio, I’ve noticed that I’m not training at the same rigorous level that I used to. At first I thought it was because I was out of shape but two years in, and it hasn’t returned. And that one adage that I fiercely hate crept in, Am I now too old to workout like I used to??
Irritated, as if defining where on the spectrum my maturity was heading, I figured I needed variety. I tried new instructors, different apps, and even did a blundering twirl with dance cardio.
For months, I’ve tried to stoke the flame that once burned for hitting an 8-minute mile sprint, the fire of scorching thighs driving up a resistance hill on the bike, and the drenching sweat of a 1.5 hour cardio circuit.
What I finally realized is, I don’t want to train the way that I used to. It’s not that I physically can’t. I don’t want to. And this awareness feels peaceful.
Roger Gabriel explains in this article how, “sensory attachments [manifest] as delusions, which causes you to forget who you are.” He also mentions, “the Yoga Sutras warn you of the pitfalls on your spiritual journey and offer the means to overcome them.”
Part of our divine pilgrimage is to find and stay connected to our true Self. When others say things like:
“When you get older you’re going to get arthritis.”
“Old dogs can’t learn new tricks.”
“It’s inevitable that you’ll gain weight as you age.”
Hearing these remarks plants misconceptions in us as if they are going to become our reality later on, which masks our inner being. And, as noted, the Yoga Sutras has a concept that helps us to prevail and remember who we are…svadhyaya (self-study).
In the translation by Sri Swami Satchidananda svadhyaya is “anything that will elevate your mind and remind you of your true Self…” While he specifically advises that religious and spiritual texts should be studied, in a modern day application, this would probably include art, sports, crafts, etc. Anything that gives us that buzz of, This is ME!!!
For those who are warriors of authenticity, mining for a gem is hard work. It’s a daily expedition to excavate the debris that obscures our connection to our essential nature. In curating our inner world we have to brush away the public images that imply what’s attractive, remove statements and opinions that are actually falsehoods, and weed out intrusive thoughts that are destructive.
Especially as we get older, we can get buried under the preconceived judgments and fabrications of what aging is supposed to be. But we don’t know what our unique future will be.
So when we feel a sense of suffering in the form of agitation, confusion, fear, or doubts these are all signs that something is not aligned with our soul’s distinct individuality. We have to investigate; take it apart, like a piece to a puzzle – does it sincerely fit anywhere in our being?
And when we come to know and embrace our truth, it has a sense of calm to it. The distress falls away. Once we find that place of authenticity that lets our genuine inner light radiate, it’s a tranquil spot to be in.
Much like our physical yoga practice, the more cerebral asana we do the greater our base of knowledge in our svadhyaya. In fact, being aware of and staying true to ourselves is one of the best tactics for anti-aging!