As I was watching the Oprah/Lance Armstrong interview, aghast at what Lance finally revealed and his multiple acknowledgements of, “I’m a jerk” and especially in this clip where he describes himself as “a jerk and a humanitarian” I was overcome with a familiarity of — holy cow, I’ve dated this guy!
Obviously, not literally, but I see similarities in him and several of my former lovers and bygone friends.
In general, I’m an optimist and whenever people voice their shortcomings of: “I’m lazy. I’m a liar. I’m always late. I’m an asshole,” I think this recognition is an indication that they’re working on it. After all, the first step for any addict is to get beyond their denial and admit they have a problem.
And at this state of confession, I believe them. I feel for these people as someone who is being vulnerable and they’re putting forth the effort to be self-aware as they work toward change to ultimately attain a level of higher self.
But lo and behold when months later they are just what they said they are – a lazy, lying asshole who’s perpetually late!
Yoga Sutra 1.9 says, “an image that arises on hearing mere words without any reality [as its basis] is verbal delusion.” Or as one of my yoga teachers calls it, “discriminative awareness.”
An admission does not necessarily imply action. I think sometimes we can get caught up in the hope for what or who someone will be, instead of accepting who they are at their essence; which leads to suffering by holding a subtle, false expectation.
The only thing we can do is neither develop attachment or aversion. Only time reveals everyone’s true intent…