As the plot of our lives is uniquely designed to drive us toward that which we need to individually awaken to, have you ever arrived in a place where you couldn’t figure out what the lesson is you were supposed to be learning from a difficult set of circumstances?
I never believed in that all-consuming, fairytale love that so many chase after. I thought movies and music that depict a whirlwind romance were ridiculous. Yet that is exactly where I found myself when I met a man who possessed a set of qualities that I thought could only be a fantasy.
And when the relationship ended abruptly, I was stuck in a distraught place for a long time, questioning why I was led there. I picked at every nuance about myself, the environment and the events that unfolded to try to find the meaning, or purpose, to explain what this was supposed to teach me. Yet every time I came up empty-handed I felt hollow and shattered, as if I was a shell of a person.
Suddenly this inner world, this faith, that I had constructed with vigorous sweat and study through the practice of yoga, was now demolished. Honestly, I haven’t been as active on this blog because I was questioning what this spiritual path guided me to. Why did I need to encounter something I never believed in, in the first place?
Somehow, over time, I slowly began to realize that now I listen and can write with a different comprehension for what others desire but only because for however short it was, I lived it.
This was my lesson that allows me to relate on a different level than I had before. Everyone else’s might be different; perhaps it was a bewildering rejection, a divorce, an illness, or a massive financial loss.
You may feel weak, isolated, or condemned in these places of suffering but from that brokenness, that position of uncertain faith, or disbelief, know this:
At the very core of every arduous experience is that we are developing an understanding of the depths of humanity. We have the choice to close down and harden into bitterness and anger or to open up and soften into utilizing it as a deeper connection of compassion and empathy towards others.
It’s our karmic work to allow ourselves to expand our consciousness. We may feel damaged and wounded by these situations but that doesn’t have to be the case. Growing pains are always hard but they are a sign of a blossoming of sorts.
I’m certainly not yet in a place of being grateful, but I get why this happened…
*If you’d like to read my previous posts in this spontaneous series they are in the order in which they appeared here:
Examining the Ideas Behind Being Worthy of Love
Why a Dysfunctional Family Does Not Limit Our Potential to Find Love