Months ago, I read this brilliant blog post from Andrea Scher “What Do You Project Into Silence?” and I was very relieved to know that someone else suffers from the same ailment that I do, what I’ve named, D.D.S. (Dormant Drama Syndrome).
Especially as a writer of fiction and a huge fan of tv and movies, I can come up with catastrophic drama from the most minute circumstance. For instance, one of my girlfriends wasn’t answering my emails to her over a weekend, which is so unlike her. I can’t just think she’s busy. Oh no…my conclusion was her crazy, drugged up ex-husband had probably accelerated their divorce negotiations by taking my friend hostage somewhere in the tri-state area.
After two days of silence I finally texted her, ready to go down to her apartment with the NYC S.W.A.T team if she didn’t answer. But she was fine. Her email wasn’t working.
We laugh about this now but seriously, my brain is somehow wired for Hollywood, third act, up the stakes, surprise the audience, Fourth of July, blockbuster drama.
But fictionalizing my life isn’t a good thing and I’m guessing there’s a bit of D.D.S. in everyone’s life in the moments when: the guy doesn’t call when he said he would, the boss hasn’t given us feedback on the work we just turned in, or our idea for a phenomenal get together with friends isn’t met with instant acceptance; what do we do?
Do we think we did or said something stupid and the guy is preoccupied with another girl, the boss hates our work, or the friends are underwhelmed by the idea and are procrastinating in responding?
When life idles, what do we believe is going on behind the scenes?
I think this is becoming the space for a modern day meditation to witness the substance of our thoughts and take stock in recalibrating our attitudes toward how life manages us.
Do we think the world is fragile and volatile and we need to steel ourselves for that unexpected blow that’s surely around the corner? Are we optimistic or pessimistic in foreshadowing how we’ll be treated by our fellow man?
What we constantly prepare for and believe in is what we’ll eventually attract to ourselves. We’re our own worst enemies, parading around our vulnerabilities in the forefront of our minds and constantly devising a protection plan for them.
There is a great mantra that Cheryl Richardson shared when she was on Oprah years ago, “The world is conspiring in my favor.”
Though immediacy is highly valued in western culture, the universe is wiser than we are and perhaps the pause we’re given is a gift. For whatever the reason we’re meant to be still. Can we use the waiting time for something better, more constructive, and positive than letting fearful imaginations run us into strategizing a DEFCON (Defense Readiness Condition) session for the “what-if?”
A recent Yoga Journal newsletter echoed, “The way you keep your mind determines the way you keep your world.”
Instead, can we focus on loving thoughts toward ourselves and others, recite a mantra, restore ourselves back to our intentions, and just believe that no matter what comes our way we can handle it? I know…easier said than done….