Who hasn’t struggled with being alone at certain times?
I think of “alone” as being those in-between times; when our relationships are transitioning and we don’t feel as connected as we’d like to.
There could be a myriad of reasons for why we’re stuck in that place of waiting: the spouse hasn’t revealed themselves, the kids that are wanted aren’t born yet, or we haven’t encountered the friends we’re closely bonded to.
These times can be isolating and seemingly unproductive because what we want has not materialized yet.
But I stumbled upon a passage in Osho’s book “Being in Love” that took this idea of being alone to a new level for me:
“In the night, when nobody is looking at the rosebush, it is preparing the rose. Deep down in the earth, the roots are preparing the rose. Nobody is looking there. If the rosebush thinks, ‘I will show my roses only when people are around,’ then it will not have anything to show. It will not have anything to share, because whatever you can share has first to be created, and all creativity arises out of the depths of aloneness.
So let this aloneness be a womb, and enjoy and delight in it; don’t feel you are doing something wrong. It is a question of attitude and approach. Don’t give it a wrong interpretation. It need not be sorrowful. It can be tremendously peaceful and blissful. It depends on you.”
In essence, it comes down to the famous Pattabhi Jois saying, “Practice, practice, practice and all is coming.” In fact, I wrote about something similar to this idea in a previous blog post, “The One Day When — Game.”
We have to practice BEFORE it will come. Our aloneness is a chance to experiment with and perfect what we want to create.
If we dream of being a fantastic cook for that future family – get cooking. If you dream of going to Burgundy, France to go wine tasting – study Burgundy wines. If you dream of going on a honeymoon on an African safari and coming back with great pictures – go to the local zoo and start shooting. If you picture living a healthy, active lifestyle – go to the gym.
Trust me, I’m not immune to the disparaging feelings of being alone but I’ve decided to re-evaluate how I judge myself and those blocks of time.
It’s there so we can rehearse the best of us…