Beginnings, Comical, Creating Awareness, Gratitude, Trusting

Oh No! An Infection of a Zen State of Mind???

Buzzing with creative energy and ample ideas, I sat down at my computer yesterday, excited to work. This in itself is a rarity. Most of us writers heave ourselves to our desks, worrying about what’s before us. That’s why these moments of enthusiasm are like surfing. There are the everyday, nonchalant waves that you ride to maintain the technique, but when that big kahuna swells you’ve got to paddle hard to try to catch it because you don’t know when it’s going to come back.

With fingers itching, I turned on my computer but it wouldn’t boot up – twice. All that appeared was a piddly status bar and some gray wheel thing spinning around. When a Mac doesn’t even have spiffy graphics to display, you know you’re in trouble. Crap!

So I sprinted to the Genius Bar at the Apple Store, two avenues away, hoping for the best because surely, this would just delay me a few hours at most. The wave was still cresting…

“What’s an email address where we can reach you?” the lady at the Genius Bar asked.

“Uh, for what?” I replied.

“We’re probably going to have to give you a whole new hard drive.”

“Oh…How long is that going to take?”

“A few hours…”

Okay…I gave her the information and left calmly. That’s right CALMLY!

What the heck is going on??? This is new…

When catastrophic computer problems have happened before, I’ve been a mess wondering how I’d get everything back. Would the back-up even work or was that corrupted too? What if it didn’t work? How much important, irreplaceable data would I lose? And I’d lament about how unproductive this jolt had made me; how much time was now wasted.

I’d need to find a bar that served a stiff drink or stop by the liquor store, and also order a fat delivery of comfort food to desensitize the mounting anxiety while waiting for the reappearance of those familiar icons of the home screen.

I’d feel like, if I couldn’t get my stuff restored, this one event would be the catalyst to the slow death of the rest of my life, it’d be all downhill from here.

But yesterday, I was there…in the now. Standing on the street corner, enjoying the cool breeze that had kicked up since that morning and the humidity had disappeared.

In fact, I felt somewhat thankful this happened when it did because the warranty was seven days from expiring. Seven days! I’m not out any money and I didn’t have to ship it any where. Hello – strange form of luck!

While I waited for the repair to be completed, I chatted up some nice writers and even got some work done, Amish-style with a pen and paper.


As I realize this adjustment in myself a part of me says, “Oh shit! I’m changing! I should be flipping out right now. I’m infected with zen! Get it out of me!”

What kind of response is that??? I’ve asked for change, sought after it like a wild burly beast looking to be domesticated.

I guess I just thought I would evolve in such an organic and seamless way that it wouldn’t be noticeable???

Even though this is a millimeter of the marathon before me, I’m thankful for this one moment of modification; this spiritual infection… 🙂

1 thought on “Oh No! An Infection of a Zen State of Mind???”

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